Grace for Grace

(new thing I'm doing. sharing some stuff from my journal that I feel is relevant. kind of relevant? it's whatever.) It's amazing how my heart has softened, almost annoyingly so. I feel so much more sensitive. I can't handle actual horror movies; they feel wrong, they feel abrasive and heavy. War movies feel so so wrong, like a violation of both sides humanity and purpose. Kindness makes me cry because it is so good. I want to embrace "be a lamb in a world of wolves", but I also sometimes feel embarrassed that I have become so soft, crying easily, turning away from violence, from the ugliness of sin. I remember when I was younger, I thought being grown up meant being able to watch violence and sex and language and all of it with no problem, but that no longer feels even a little bit true. It's a strange shift for me, letting go of the self that wants to be seen as grown up and tough, like nothing phases me. Now everything phases me. I am extremely re...

Music has been a huge way that God has spoken to me. Certain songs have ushered in certain shifts in my heart. I Will Be Still (Spontaneous) - This was the song that calmed my stress and spiraling thoughts when I was in a season of unrest and panic. It was something I sung out of desperation, and then out of resigned acceptance. You Never Miss a Moment (Spontaneous) pt1.  - Jesus died on the cross so we could be close. Obviously my entire life will be a process of learning that, but this song helped make the vague outline of Jesus in my life a bit more tangible. There doesn't have to be some grand revelation or life-altering breakthrough for Jesus to be there. He wants to sit with us, to talk, to be close not for any other reason than that I love Him, and He loves me, and we enjoy each other. I have shown up for focused time with Him basically every morning for the past 2 years, and I am seeing the fruit of that. If I show up, I know that He will. I have called and He has answe...