What I Needed To Hear

(What I really wanted someone to tell me, so instead of talking it out with an actual person, I sat on the edge of the bathtub at 11:00pm and cried next to a gnome, writing it in the notes app.)

It's okay if you are still afraid and sometimes that fear makes you do crazy things. It's okay that you are desperate for love and acceptance and so so terrified to lose it. It's okay if you're reactive and sensitive, overwhelmingly so. It's okay if you don't have an exact reason for your fear or your feelings. It's okay if the panic that rises up hasn't gone away yet.
None of it invalidates your progress or position in God's eyes. Your heart is not a mystery to Him.
It's okay if you get confused by all this. It is okay if you are not a complete human yet, and no one is going to love you less for it. It's okay if all this is being brought to the surface and new for you, too.
It's okay if you need comfort and it's not for something big. There is not a standard for what deserves a hug and someone listening without judgement.
You are held by an insanely kind and merciful and close and Fatherly God.
You are a work in progress, and you are entitled by the grace of God to your process with the Holy Spirit.

I trust His timing and His guiding.

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