Pride: Self-righteousness
Ah, pride. The sneakiest of the seven deadly sins.
It is a subtle attacker that digs its hook into your every motivation and belief. Even if you win one battle against it, you can almost guarantee that it will win the next, and later you will realize that it actually did win the battle, just in a more subtle way.
Pride is the hardest to overcome (I think), because no matter how potent fear is, it is remedied by accepting love and declaring who you are over the situation. Pride can survive that. Pride hides and lurks and swims under the water.
Once you realize what it tastes like, the foul taste is everywhere. I hate pride, I hate it so much, yet I allow it to rule my life. I cooperate with it because in the moment, it feels good.
And the layers are so subtle. Self-righteousness, which seems to be pride's favorite manifestation in my life, can be so self-aware. Like, I will realize that I am being self-righteous, and then feel self-righteous about recognizing it. And then I'll feel self-righteous about realizing THAT. It's so stupid. It's just stupid, and it gets in the way. If there is any good fruit that has come out of my relationship with God, I have probably felt self-righteous about it, effectively turning it into something fleshy. I don't know how to not feel self-righteous. Even as I write this, self-righteousness is trying to take my frustration and humility, and twist it into something false. There is none that is good, no not one, save for God.
I don't know what I would do without the Holy Spirit. The cure for self-righteousness is seeing our need, seeing our failings, knowing how much grace we have needed (y'all, we have been given more grace than we can fathom).
I was reading the Old Testament, getting frustrated with the Israelites. Here was the God of Creation who had chosen them as His special people, walking with them, guiding them, protecting them, pouring out love and favour. And at every chance, they turned away from Him, forgot Him, cursed Him. Then He would pull them into a season of need, they would cry out, and He would rescue them. Did they learn? NOPE. Constantly, generation after generation, receiving of God's goodness and then doing evil with it. That is sickening. I was so annoyed with them. My God doesn't deserve that, He deserves the utmost loyalty and adoration in every single second.
Then the Holy Spirit whispered to my heart, "That's what you've been doing with your self-righteousness, taking your perspective away from God."
I hate pride. I hate that I have done, and am still doing, something that hurts God. I know that Jesus already paid for it, and it will not be remembered, and there is no condemnation, but I don't want to be a part of anything causes separation between me and Love.
It is a subtle attacker that digs its hook into your every motivation and belief. Even if you win one battle against it, you can almost guarantee that it will win the next, and later you will realize that it actually did win the battle, just in a more subtle way.
Pride is the hardest to overcome (I think), because no matter how potent fear is, it is remedied by accepting love and declaring who you are over the situation. Pride can survive that. Pride hides and lurks and swims under the water.
Once you realize what it tastes like, the foul taste is everywhere. I hate pride, I hate it so much, yet I allow it to rule my life. I cooperate with it because in the moment, it feels good.
And the layers are so subtle. Self-righteousness, which seems to be pride's favorite manifestation in my life, can be so self-aware. Like, I will realize that I am being self-righteous, and then feel self-righteous about recognizing it. And then I'll feel self-righteous about realizing THAT. It's so stupid. It's just stupid, and it gets in the way. If there is any good fruit that has come out of my relationship with God, I have probably felt self-righteous about it, effectively turning it into something fleshy. I don't know how to not feel self-righteous. Even as I write this, self-righteousness is trying to take my frustration and humility, and twist it into something false. There is none that is good, no not one, save for God.
I don't know what I would do without the Holy Spirit. The cure for self-righteousness is seeing our need, seeing our failings, knowing how much grace we have needed (y'all, we have been given more grace than we can fathom).
I was reading the Old Testament, getting frustrated with the Israelites. Here was the God of Creation who had chosen them as His special people, walking with them, guiding them, protecting them, pouring out love and favour. And at every chance, they turned away from Him, forgot Him, cursed Him. Then He would pull them into a season of need, they would cry out, and He would rescue them. Did they learn? NOPE. Constantly, generation after generation, receiving of God's goodness and then doing evil with it. That is sickening. I was so annoyed with them. My God doesn't deserve that, He deserves the utmost loyalty and adoration in every single second.
Then the Holy Spirit whispered to my heart, "That's what you've been doing with your self-righteousness, taking your perspective away from God."
I hate pride. I hate that I have done, and am still doing, something that hurts God. I know that Jesus already paid for it, and it will not be remembered, and there is no condemnation, but I don't want to be a part of anything causes separation between me and Love.
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