Guilt
We as limited humans apply our experience with love and relationships and push it on God. When I sin against my sister, I know she still loves me and accepts my apology, but there is still a period of time of guilt where I don't allow myself to interact with her freely and I imagine she's still upset/disappointed.
When I sin against God, I have applied the same principle. I apologize, and then lower my head in guilt, not daring to interact freely, inflicting a short period of time where I don't go to God because I need to get "holy" again. To think that I could trick God into thinking that I am anything but undeserving and sinful by separating myself so that I can become "holy" again before I go to Him, is actually the dumbest. It just is. The only thing I am doing by not being fully engaged with Him is creating my own punishment, saying that God doesn't know best because if He did He would have punished me Himself.
The only thing that I am accomplishing by letting that guilt masquerade as "reverence" for His holiness is a fruitless, self-serving heart attitude that says I can get "holy" again on my own, before I can go to God.
Thank God that is not the case. Literally.
The whole point of Him dying on the cross was so that we could live with the Holy Spirit: The Comforter, God dwelling with us. The whole point was so He could be with us in every single second, not just the ones that we deem worthy enough for Him. He has already known and died for every sin that I will ever commit. It is not a surprise to Him; I have not shocked the God of the universe by my pride.
Of course He would never want me to allow my sin to become commonplace or no big deal. It is the very fact that it is a big deal that illustrates His tremendous mercy and love in taking it all on Himself once and for all. It is the very fact that the mercy is so great that should make it clear that there is no need for a "guilt" period, for seperation.
Through my sin, who He says I am and how He views me does not waver, it does not change, and it literally never will. I don't have to wait for it to go back to "normal" because it never changed, it is not situational. He does not want to be close only when we are being righteous. If that is what I am believing and modeling, then I am missing the point of the cross.
Sitting in guilt keeps me from resting in grace. I am not doing God any favors my holding onto the sin He already took instead of accepting the fact that His grace doesn't have a pending period. His grace is accessible even in the middle of my sin, when I'm not even on the other side of it yet.
Even though it goes against my natural understanding of relationships, I choose to believe God that His "grace for grace" is for when we need it the most, not when we feel deserving of it, but the opposite.
I'll say it again because it lowkey sums up this whole post: GRACE DOES NOT HAVE A PENDING PERIOD.
When I sin against God, I have applied the same principle. I apologize, and then lower my head in guilt, not daring to interact freely, inflicting a short period of time where I don't go to God because I need to get "holy" again. To think that I could trick God into thinking that I am anything but undeserving and sinful by separating myself so that I can become "holy" again before I go to Him, is actually the dumbest. It just is. The only thing I am doing by not being fully engaged with Him is creating my own punishment, saying that God doesn't know best because if He did He would have punished me Himself.
The only thing that I am accomplishing by letting that guilt masquerade as "reverence" for His holiness is a fruitless, self-serving heart attitude that says I can get "holy" again on my own, before I can go to God.
Thank God that is not the case. Literally.
The whole point of Him dying on the cross was so that we could live with the Holy Spirit: The Comforter, God dwelling with us. The whole point was so He could be with us in every single second, not just the ones that we deem worthy enough for Him. He has already known and died for every sin that I will ever commit. It is not a surprise to Him; I have not shocked the God of the universe by my pride.
Of course He would never want me to allow my sin to become commonplace or no big deal. It is the very fact that it is a big deal that illustrates His tremendous mercy and love in taking it all on Himself once and for all. It is the very fact that the mercy is so great that should make it clear that there is no need for a "guilt" period, for seperation.
Through my sin, who He says I am and how He views me does not waver, it does not change, and it literally never will. I don't have to wait for it to go back to "normal" because it never changed, it is not situational. He does not want to be close only when we are being righteous. If that is what I am believing and modeling, then I am missing the point of the cross.
Sitting in guilt keeps me from resting in grace. I am not doing God any favors my holding onto the sin He already took instead of accepting the fact that His grace doesn't have a pending period. His grace is accessible even in the middle of my sin, when I'm not even on the other side of it yet.
Even though it goes against my natural understanding of relationships, I choose to believe God that His "grace for grace" is for when we need it the most, not when we feel deserving of it, but the opposite.
I'll say it again because it lowkey sums up this whole post: GRACE DOES NOT HAVE A PENDING PERIOD.
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