psalms pt. 3: Electric Boogaloo
If you have grown up in the church, or even if you have just seen others in the church for better or worse, you probably have negative associations with the word "righteousness". I know that I have, and I'm still working that. I ask that you set aside that negative history and maybe even hurts that get tangled around other's expectations (or our own expectations) of what we should be.
God's righteousness is not the world's definition of righteousness.
I have lived and rested in grace for the past years of my life. I have allowed myself to feel freely, to share my heart with God, to understand the power of His love in the face of my fragile, fleshy human heart. It has been the most transformational process of my life, understanding the absence of condemnation, the absence of separation. Accepting God's grace also revealed a lot of false standards that I hold for myself, a lot of stupid self-righteousness that grew from my own self-achieved "holiness". Accepting real grace was uncomfortable because it went against my desire to be the most holy. Grace is so humbling.
And now, I feel moved to seek righteousness, to step into the next stage of life: loving what God loves.
I am not willing to participate in anything that added to Jesus's pain on the cross. I am so done with the selfish religion that has been created. It praises a one dimensional God. Yes, grace is His response, but it is grace that gives us room to turn away from our sin and run to Him. It is not lenience. That sin still had to be paid for.
I could go on about His worthiness for hours because it literally does not end. We praise because we know Him, and if you don't see His worthiness inspiring an eternity of nonstop praise, then you do not know Him. But that's okay, because He has also promised that if you are looking for Him, He will make sure you find Him. "And ye shall seek me, and find me, when you search for me with all your heart. I will be found by you." Jeremiah 29:14
And now, I feel moved to seek righteousness, to step into the next stage of life: loving what God loves.
I am not willing to participate in anything that added to Jesus's pain on the cross. I am so done with the selfish religion that has been created. It praises a one dimensional God. Yes, grace is His response, but it is grace that gives us room to turn away from our sin and run to Him. It is not lenience. That sin still had to be paid for.
We are in full control of ourselves. If I hear one more Christian say "We're in sin nature" as an excuse, I'm gonna freaking lose it. WHAT THE HECK DID JESUS DIE FOR THEN? If we are not free of the old man, if we do not have full control over our choices, then what did Jesus die for? We are not victims. Sin doesn't just happen to us; we don't even just cooperate with it because no one is forcing it on us. We are in full control of ourselves, which means that we are choosing sin, we are reaching for evil.
Now that doesn't mean that just because I know all that, I am perfect, that I don't reach for sin because I am weak willed and fleshy. It means that against what my pride tells me, against what my flesh is feeling, against my false holiness ideas of what I should be better than, against shame and condemnation that I bring against myself, I humbly repent and pray, I participate in the miracle of the cross -- that that sin that added to the weight and pain of Jesus's death is already known and forgiven.
It's funny: I used to think that seeking righteousness meant that I become righteous in the way that I have seen righteousness portrayed: no cursing, prim and stoic, wearing skirts down to the ankles, but I don't think that's it at all anymore. Not only is that "righteousness" false standards and based on how we are perceived, but it minimizes the mercy of righteousness. David was one of the messiest people in the Bible, his life filled with ups and downs that we would frown upon or judge, but God counts David as righteousness because David knew something that we are still failing to grasp thousands of years later: That closeness and right relating with God is more important than being seen as good or feeling good -- that in the accepting of our deep depravity and "without"ness, our need, we begin to believe that He is the only thing that will truly fill us, because He is. I think it goes back to how we have nothing good on our own. We are not strong because of our strength, we are not righteous because of our actions; it is all from God Himself.
It's funny: I used to think that seeking righteousness meant that I become righteous in the way that I have seen righteousness portrayed: no cursing, prim and stoic, wearing skirts down to the ankles, but I don't think that's it at all anymore. Not only is that "righteousness" false standards and based on how we are perceived, but it minimizes the mercy of righteousness. David was one of the messiest people in the Bible, his life filled with ups and downs that we would frown upon or judge, but God counts David as righteousness because David knew something that we are still failing to grasp thousands of years later: That closeness and right relating with God is more important than being seen as good or feeling good -- that in the accepting of our deep depravity and "without"ness, our need, we begin to believe that He is the only thing that will truly fill us, because He is. I think it goes back to how we have nothing good on our own. We are not strong because of our strength, we are not righteous because of our actions; it is all from God Himself.
"The Lord is my strength and my song." Psalm 118: 16
I am strong because of His strength, I am righteous because of His righteousness.
I cannot be righteousness on my own. Righteousness is not a destination; it is not a level of Christianity. It is a continual loving of God more than our own opinions, our own flesh's feelings. It is accepting the righteousness that God is giving us and has been giving us, through the Bible, through the Holy Spirit. He WANTS us to live in that righteousness that is His, to love what He loves and hate what He hates.
I know that I still only see a tiny portion of what a life lived in righteousness, in His righteousness, looks like. It feels just out of reach and part of a million other pieces I've barely touched.
Righteousness feels like both the call to self-discipline and the acknowledgement of our failure at it. It is the law and grace in one neat little word.
PRAISE: A natural result, an overflow.
When I think of all that God has done for me, who He wants to be in my life, how important and close and connected, nothing else seems to matter, and all I want to do is thank Him. He is moved by our emotions, by our heart, He is drawn to neediness. He is THE FATHER, and He is a father. Life makes the most sense when I am focused only on the goal of praising God. Everything is easier when that is my priority. Nothing is complicated or conflicting because praising Him is always most important, hands down, every single time. He is Love, He is Kindness, He is Joy, He is Mercy, and He is Grace. He bowed the heavens and came down for us. As much as praise is a natural result of choosing righteousness and knowing God's holiness, it is a wonderful practical step. It's one of the fastest ways to gain perspective. It aids basically every step of the process. It is so practical, and so easy, and it doesn't require feeling or being "in the zone" to be effective. I think we assume that if we aren't emotionally invested or crying or deeply moved, our praise is less moving to God, less...good, but we as Christians should NEVER pursue emotional satisfaction more than praising God simply because He is WORTHY.
If I could be a part of any moment of history, I would want to be a part of the Triumphal Entry because I would have wanted to tell Jesus how grateful I am that He was doing this for me, and that I know He loves me, and I love Him, and I am living my life for Him. I can't go back in time, so I need Him to know that now.
It's easy to complicate praise, but stripped down, it is so simple, and maybe it sounds childish, but I don't care. I need God to know that I love Him for what He has done for me, and that I see who He is, and I love Him, and I am grateful.
Psalm 96:9 "Oh worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness: fear before Him all the earth." I remember having no idea what "the beauty of holiness" meant, which maybe that makes me stupid (which is a very real possibility lol), but then I realized that it's like my awe when it's snowed overnight and no one has gone outside yet. Everything is glowing and soft and perfect and untouched, and so so beautiful. It is beautiful and it is perfect, and it is beautiful because of the perfection. That easily translates to God. He is the same, untouched, glowing, perfect Father and God, and He has been that way and will remain that way for every second of time and then beyond. That wouldn't be impressive if He had stayed up in His tower in the sky, being perfect and the same in an easy environment. But He is an active God, He has orchestrated so much of history, spoken to man, yearned for relationship with us, and is so present and with us, and He has remained holy. That deserves praise, it deserves adoration.
We worship because He is worthy. He is endlessly worthy. And maybe that idea has lost its meaning and now feels cheesy and overrepeated. At one point it felt the same for me. I felt like "Okay, I get it, God is good, He is worthy, what's new?" And that (IN MY CASE, I AM NOT SAYING THIS IS THE CASE FOR YOU) came from my own desire to be a "mature" Christian. Like, I didn't want to participate in such a basic truth of God. I wanted something more complicated to move me because I wanted to know more than others. Kids in kindergarten sing about how worthy and wonderful God is, and I was clearly more spiritual than a kindergartener. It's weird, I know.
PRAISE: A natural result, an overflow.
When I think of all that God has done for me, who He wants to be in my life, how important and close and connected, nothing else seems to matter, and all I want to do is thank Him. He is moved by our emotions, by our heart, He is drawn to neediness. He is THE FATHER, and He is a father. Life makes the most sense when I am focused only on the goal of praising God. Everything is easier when that is my priority. Nothing is complicated or conflicting because praising Him is always most important, hands down, every single time. He is Love, He is Kindness, He is Joy, He is Mercy, and He is Grace. He bowed the heavens and came down for us. As much as praise is a natural result of choosing righteousness and knowing God's holiness, it is a wonderful practical step. It's one of the fastest ways to gain perspective. It aids basically every step of the process. It is so practical, and so easy, and it doesn't require feeling or being "in the zone" to be effective. I think we assume that if we aren't emotionally invested or crying or deeply moved, our praise is less moving to God, less...good, but we as Christians should NEVER pursue emotional satisfaction more than praising God simply because He is WORTHY.
If I could be a part of any moment of history, I would want to be a part of the Triumphal Entry because I would have wanted to tell Jesus how grateful I am that He was doing this for me, and that I know He loves me, and I love Him, and I am living my life for Him. I can't go back in time, so I need Him to know that now.
It's easy to complicate praise, but stripped down, it is so simple, and maybe it sounds childish, but I don't care. I need God to know that I love Him for what He has done for me, and that I see who He is, and I love Him, and I am grateful.
Psalm 96:9 "Oh worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness: fear before Him all the earth." I remember having no idea what "the beauty of holiness" meant, which maybe that makes me stupid (which is a very real possibility lol), but then I realized that it's like my awe when it's snowed overnight and no one has gone outside yet. Everything is glowing and soft and perfect and untouched, and so so beautiful. It is beautiful and it is perfect, and it is beautiful because of the perfection. That easily translates to God. He is the same, untouched, glowing, perfect Father and God, and He has been that way and will remain that way for every second of time and then beyond. That wouldn't be impressive if He had stayed up in His tower in the sky, being perfect and the same in an easy environment. But He is an active God, He has orchestrated so much of history, spoken to man, yearned for relationship with us, and is so present and with us, and He has remained holy. That deserves praise, it deserves adoration.
We worship because He is worthy. He is endlessly worthy. And maybe that idea has lost its meaning and now feels cheesy and overrepeated. At one point it felt the same for me. I felt like "Okay, I get it, God is good, He is worthy, what's new?" And that (IN MY CASE, I AM NOT SAYING THIS IS THE CASE FOR YOU) came from my own desire to be a "mature" Christian. Like, I didn't want to participate in such a basic truth of God. I wanted something more complicated to move me because I wanted to know more than others. Kids in kindergarten sing about how worthy and wonderful God is, and I was clearly more spiritual than a kindergartener. It's weird, I know.
But I have learned that we can never say it enough, ever. That is why all of eternity will be dedicated to praising Him, because we will never reach the end of His goodness. Even just in my life, not including your life or anyone else's, but in my life alone, He has been constant love when I felt unlovable, a hand already waiting outstretched when I needed comfort, a presence of peace and clarity when I have been lonely and confused, not to mention the cross. Oh good God. He changed everything, everything. One part of the cross that has really been hitting me recently is the fact that the veil was torn. The need for separation was taken away; His blood fulfilled our need for holiness to be in God's presence. That is forever worthy of praise, whether we feel like it or not, that has to be praised. The Holy Spirit lives with us; that has to be praised.
I'm not saying hide your heart from God and only sing what you think praises Him, literally the opposite. Bring everything to Him, everything. Talk to Him like you would your best friend, your closest friend, because He is, He wants to be. We have to bring everything; our fear, our stress, our doubts, our joy, our embarrassing worries or wants, our weird thoughts (please get in the habit of asking God questions or sharing your weird funny thoughts with Him. He is the source of comedy, or curiosity, of silliness. It doesn't cheapen Him. In my experience it has done the opposite), our hopes. It makes me sad when I hear people talk about their hopes for the future, and then halfheartedly tack on "But I trust God, whatever He wants for my life." so they sound like good Christians. (There's obviously times that phrase is said genuinely, but I also have heard plenty of times when it hasn't been sincere. Don't you think God can tell? lol) Don't you think God wants you to tell Him your hopes and be excited about them? Not sheepish. Of course He already knows them and knows what your life is going to be like, but I believe He wants to know our dreams from our own mouths, that He wants to share in our passion and excitement. I don't know if what I'm saying is making any sense at all, but I just feel it so strongly that God deserves and wants it all. I praise Him because He has held my most fearful and bitter and hateful thoughts, and He has loved me through it, He has stood by my side.
I could go on about His worthiness for hours because it literally does not end. We praise because we know Him, and if you don't see His worthiness inspiring an eternity of nonstop praise, then you do not know Him. But that's okay, because He has also promised that if you are looking for Him, He will make sure you find Him. "And ye shall seek me, and find me, when you search for me with all your heart. I will be found by you." Jeremiah 29:14
A life lived with God is a life lived in constant newness and, not to be dramatic, but adventure. He is so vast and there is so much to learn, but He has made it all available for us if we only put in the time to seek Him, to love Him. Heck, even when we don't put in the time, He still teaches and guides us. There is always more to learn and love about God. Psalms paints that picture of a God-focused life that is not destination-obsessed or perfection-oriented. It is a moving, living, fluid adventure of grace and love and joy and sorrow and nearness. Maybe that all sounds cheesy and cliche, but it is true.
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