Perspective

Ecclesiastes is one of my favorite books. It is so comforting and so convicting. 

Ecclesiastes makes it clear that all of our attempts at meaning or achievement are fleeting and flammable. It will all burn up. It doesn't matter what we do, we all die the same. Generations have come and go and no one remembers them. But a quiet life in pursuit of God, in pursuit of wisdom and love, will also die the same and no one will remember you. "All things come to all." It is all the same here. But: "I know it will be well with them that fear the Lord." 

We are valuable, yes, and we can have a lasting impact on the kingdom of God, but we are also dust, only given value by Jesus, by the breath in our lungs and the hands that formed us. 

We assume so much. We have our limited, human perspective, and we can't even understand how limited it is, and we rationalize God's actions through our filters and assumptions. We put our own crap on God, we try to figure out what He is doing in our lives, and even if we have the best intentions, we try to take control of our process, like we can do anything that would speed up the process, other than yield. All we can do is yield, is step aside. We have nothing good on our own that we can add. We have to just step aside. 

We can't assume that we see the full God, or that we have reached spiritual maturity, or that we know what's going on. We don't know anything, and no matter how loving we are trying to be, we are always going to be biased towards ourselves. It is only by the grace of God that we have any genuine goodness. It is only because of Him, and the fact that He was merciful enough to put it in us. God help us.

One way that I have tried to take back control is deciding that God wants it to go a certain way, and usually it is a good way, but then I take matters into my own hands and push for a premature destination and completion, becoming impatient and uncomfortable with the fact that I am unfinished until the day that I die. I have tried to finish God's work for Him. We have to yield our need for it to go a certain way, at a certain speed. Destination addiction is so easy to fall into; in my experience, it is the result of pride, of the pursuit of an image to present to the world or to present to ourselves. Even though it masks itself as something positive, as motivation or seeking more of God, there is a difference between seeing the fruit of the future and looking forward to it, vs. being impatient with who you are now or being embarrassed about where you are or comparing yourself to others. False, self-measured holiness will bring me no closer to God; it will only serve to lull me into complacency and the delusion that we are anything apart from God. 

The sooner that I accept the fact that I am so dumb, the sooner I can step out of God's way and become a temple and a "hole-y" vessel. 

If Ecclesiastes has taught me anything, it's that I am not special. My life is ordered by God's hand, and I am greatly loved and seen by God, but I am one person in a world of 7 billion in a span of thousands and thousands of years. We will go through pain and we will die just like everyone else. Our glory is not in our own life, but in His. We are nothing apart from God. My life will have no lasting impact on this earth, but by God's grace, and His grace alone, I might have some part to play towards eternity, in telling others about Him. That's kind of our only role. We cannot take credit for those souls because it is God working in them, using our clumsy words, not the power of what we said. 

Ecclesiastes ends with this: "Fear God and keep His commandments: for this is the whole duty of man." Couldn't have said it better myself.