Father's Love

 "We have never seen a sane human." by I don't know. Basically, no one has gotten out unscathed or unscarred. Every single person in the world has a hurt or trauma or fear or sOMETHING that is rooted deeply in their chest. 

That is the beauty of Jesus. we are all hurt or bruised in some way and we are all forgiven and held and healed in a greater way. 

We are invited to view the world through His eyes, to see those broken and patched over hearts that are aching for love and aching for recognition. His mercy is freedom, it is healing. 

"It is finished." He came once, and for all, and we can't do anything to change the truth of that. We are uncomfortable with the fact that His sacrifice is the final word because it goes against our pride and our false holiness and our whatever else that we have twisted religion into. We are saved by Him and Him alone, and we can't do a thing to change that. We are not powerful enough to stop His love for us. Are we truly that arrogant that we think we could change His heart towards us? It is finished. He poured out blood and mercy over the world and over us, and we can't fight it. We can't stop His goodness, no matter what we feel. 

And we specifically need a Father's heart to heal us. We were made to respond to His touch, to His voice, to the way His specific love feels. We can't help but need it and He can't help but give it. 

Our sinfulness and neediness and fear and anxiety and everything we hold within is not an inconvenience to Him. When I am having a gnarly day, He doesn't sigh and roll His eyes and say "Not again. I thought she was over this." He is deeply invested in me, and in you, and He doesn't care how many times He is needed. 

I've always felt like I have a limited number of chances with people, and someday, when I say the wrong thing or show the wrong emotion, that's it, I will have been too much for them, too emotional, too immature, too needy, etc. and like we always do when we don't grow up knowing our father well, I applied those beliefs to God, He is not going to get tired of me, He is not going to be any less enthusiastic about reconciliation and peace and my heart returning to it's intended state: resting in His love. 

He gave us the Holy Spirit to be a Comforter and a teacher, those needs don't ever end. The Holy Spirit was sent for our neediness. We have full permission to be as needy as possible, to have no idea how to do anything without Him, to constantly reach out and ask for help. We were made to depend on God for everything. We need His breath, His protection, His salvation, His goodness. Our neediness reveals the empty vessel and asks for God to fill us. 

I don't even know if this has a clear point or theme at all, I just feel rambly about God's consistent and ever present gentle mercy in the face of our fears and our sin. The rawest and ugliest and frayed parts of who I am are already forgiven and healed, before I even knew it. Maybe it's the two cups of coffee I've had, maybe its the Holy Spirit, but I am really seeing how our weakness, our inability to change God's heart toward us, our neediness, it really gives us the most freedom. He already knows our fragile hearts, our shattered emotions and anxiety. He already fully knows us and has abundant love and mercy and there is no point in trying to pretend or hide. 

It may take time, and I may be in the middle of it, but He is the same, doling out mercy and Fatherly wisdom like warm blankets.