November

 November is an in between. It is in between the color and novelty of October, and the lights and anticipation of December. It is a month of waiting. 

So it's only fitting that this month I be faced with a question from the Holy Spirit. "Is this relationship enough for you without any future promise?" Essentially, I have noticed that trusting God usually comes with conditions. Like "I'm trusting you God, because I believe you will give me good things in the future." and "I'm still banking on this thing that I decided is good for me, but God gets to decide when. His timing is perfect." 

Do I believe that God wants to bless us? Hands down. Do I believe His timing is perfect? Always. 

But if I am hoping for a relationship or a specific career, the question that I felt this month was very much so "without all that, even if I work in a dead end job, alone, until the day I die, is God enough for me?" 

My gut response is yes, but is that true? I know I don't really know what it is like to have God be my only source of validation, of Jesus to be my only source of joy, and the Holy Spirit to be my only comfort. I don't think I would ever really know what that was like until everything else was taken away (which to clarify I am not praying for lol, I would like to keep my bed and house and comfort plz and thank you) 

Is God enough for me even if all the things I have been waiting for never happen? 

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