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I think it's really funny that this blog started off as me wanting to write a devotional, and I was just feeling so much that I had to write down my thoughts to organize them all.
Praise the Lord that I never went public.
I used to think that I had a theme in my life, a message that I was meant to bring to the masses because I had some sort of God-given, extra-spiritual understanding. I don't fault myself, I was excited and sincere and a little prideful. We've all been there.
But now I know that the message of my life is not a one-word sermon like Grace, or Honesty, or Dependence that comes with a microphone and bullet points.
I now see that the message of my life, my ongoing testimony, is that I mess up over and over, I sin, I forget, I ignore God's direct commandments, etc. I live my life as though He has no impact on everything, as though He has no Lordship, as though He is not the only thing that has kept me afloat all these years, even though: I push Him away, and He draws close; I need Him and He is there. That is the message of my life, and it will continue to be.
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