Faithfulness: June to December

 With marriage on the horizon, the subject of long-suffering and faithfulness feels topical. 

I think of Melissa and Jonathan Helser. I love listening to their podcast. Even though I don't agree with all of their theology, I trust the fruit of their lives. It is evident in their humility, it is evident in the gentleness and steadfastness of the community they have built around them. 

I want my relationship with God and with my future husband to have the sweet savour of faithfulness and steadfastness. It is forged through continual submission. 

I ask myself "At the end of my days, when my life has been lived, what do I want to be able to look back on? What do I want to be remembered for?" 

Obedience, faithfulness, thankfulness. 

Work in me the fruits of obedience, faithfulness, and thankfulness. 

So what is faithfulness? 

I think faithfulness is a long-term practice of standing on our foundation no matter what is happening.

When I think of faithfulness, I lose my hurry in my relationship with God. I feel the strength of what He has built with me and in me, and I feel the future laid out ahead of me. He and I have so much time. 

Matthew 7: 24 and 25. "Whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him to a wise man, which built his house upon a rock: And the rain descended and the floods came and the winds blew and beat upon that house; and it fell not, for it was founded upon a rock." 

This is it. This is the grace and the kindness of the Word. He is not saying the floods won't be hard, the wind won't break beams, and hardship will not descend. He is saying that the house wasn't swept away. I don't want to be swept away, so the answer is building a deep foundation of the Word. 

Jesus was a carpenter, He was the son of a carpenter, it was baked into His humanity. And I can't help but think of this verse through the lens of a carpenter. Building a strong foundation for a house takes time. It feels like "if you give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day, but teach a man to fish, and he'll eat for the rest of his life."

I want to be taught how to fish. I don't want to just have good moments with God, but I want strong daily habits and I want to walk with God every day. 

I always heard that a lot of kids who grew up Christian walk away in their late teens and early twenties, and I always assumed it was dramatic and conscious and could never happen to me. 

I am by no means saying that I have walked away from God. That is not possible for me. But I have made plenty of compromises I also never thought possible. I have stepped away and chosen laziness. It is laziness that has corrupted my passion for Christ. It is the same as a marriage: it is the daily choices, the habits that we encourage that create the passion, the spark. It is intentional. 

It is the same as someone restarting a slow metabolism, training their appetite, you have to eat at certain times even if you don't feel like it. 

Direct me to the habits that will sustain me, and sustain us. 

I am so young. And I have so much life ahead of me. I am both encouraged and infuriated by this. I crave the foundation that only comes with time, that is only earned through Christ carving through my rock with His slow Living Water. I have no idea what is coming. I have no idea what my life will look like, and I can naively think that I will be able to know what to do when those hard times happen, that I will reach for my Bible or choose peace, or I can choose to build those habits now. I can prepare for it now. 

I think that me being faithful now is just as important as God being faithful later. If I build the habits, if I lay the stones I will be stable. If I practice humility and peace and I purposefully grow those orchards, then it becomes a lot easier to find fruit when the harvest becomes scarce. I know where to look, I know where to go for sustenance. 

Oh dear Lord, please don't let me lose my desire to turn to You. Keep me needy, keep me tender, keep me faithful.